Tuesday 27th December - So That Was Christmas Then!

I think I've lost the kids. These are the three step kids I adopted when I got together with my ex. I've heard nothing from them at all over the Christmas break and I admit, I'm disappointed. For 19 years almost those kids were a big part of my life and here we are, at 11:44am, on the last Bank Holiday day of the Christmas break, and....nothing!

Obviously, this is another one of those chapters in my life that has now finished. Done, and the book is closed. Fortunately, Baby Daughter, who's my own flesh and blood is still wanted and welcomed by the old family unit, and on returning home last night, she told me they'd been a big meet up with all he family on the 24th December, which she wasn't told about as she was spending Christmas Eve with me. There's another family meet up on 2nd January and she's trying to cover that shift at work so she can go to that one.

If anything, I'm grateful to the old (my ex) family unit for still making Baby Daughter welcome, even if I myself aren't considered now. There have been no cards or gifts for me this year from the step kids, I am no longer a part of their life.

And that's fine.

Onto better things. Baby Daughter opened her presents on Christmas Eve and she brought her boyfriend and another friend home with her. The house was full that night, and noisy, as they were playing on the main Christmas present, a new wii system.

Baby Daughter & Friend on the new Wii System

I dropped Baby Daughter off on the estate where (I later found out) her mum and brother were staying. She'd obviously been told to get me to do this. My son didn't come to meet me. This whole situation was untenable, with most of my (ex) family unit close to hand, but not wanting to have anything to do with me.

After dropping Baby Daughter off I drove my sister and her husband to their holiday home they'd booked for a week to spend Christmas with me. I stayed there Christmas Eve night and most of Christmas Day. This was symbolically significant as well, as it started snowing as we drove into the village where they were staying. Snow at Christmas. Beautiful.

I was up early enough Christmas morning to take this photo of dawn breaking - but the snow had all gone by this time, obviously turning to rain through the night.

Christmas Day Dawn

We stayed at the holiday home until about 2pm I think, before driving back to mine for Christmas Dinner, which eventually got done by about 4pm. That was a good meal, even if I do say so myself (having done the cooking) and as you can see from the picture below, even Haf, my brother in law's guide dog, also enjoyed Christmas Dinner with us!

Haf the Guide Dog Waiting For Christmas Dinner!

So, Christmas dinner eaten, I drove baby sister and her husband back to their holiday home (sister cannot climb stairs owing to spinal tumours, otherwise they would have stayed with me.) I got back about 8pm, Christmas Night, and stayed home until 4pm Boxing Day, when I drove back to my sisters for Boxing Day tea.

I spent the day building another blog on my web server, this one's all about gardening (one of the loves of my life). This will form an important part of my overall business plan for 2012 - converting my site from selling downloadable book files into a blog empire.

I must admit though, going back over to my sisters for tea last night provided me with a suprisingly welcome break. I am striving to work from home and give up my job to do so - three years to save for my gap year - but the isolation and loneliness, even for just part of a day, got to me quite badly. Maybe it was because it was Christmas, I don't know.

But whatever the reason, I've got to get this sorted out as I will be working from home on my own.It's not urgent - yet - but it is important. I am prone to depression, anyway, (diagnosed about 8 years ago I think), and the whole waking up on my own Boxing Day brought it back on, albeit for just a couple of hours. I'm so looking forward to Summer now!

Anyway, Christmas has proved to me that I'm neither wanted nor needed by my ex-family unit. It's now just me. And I'm going to have a wonderfully successful 2012. Because, overall, as well as proving that they should have stayed with me, it will also prove I don't need them anymore either. Watch this space!